Perfect Doesn’t Exist, But Better Does
- Aleksandra Ninovic
- May 27
- 3 min read
You’ve spent hours crafting that sentence. Rewriting that email. Rehearsing what to say before the school drop-off or the networking event. You think: “If I get it perfect, I won’t be judged.”
But here’s the truth: Perfection is a myth. Better is real.
And better — real, flawed, human better — is more than enough.
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By the end of this post, you’ll understand:
Why perfectionism keeps you stuck, especially as an expat woman.
How chasing perfect damages your confidence, your relationships, and your sense of self.
The power of small, imperfect steps toward “better.”
3 practical tools to move forward today — with less pressure and more self-trust.
This is your invitation to stop waiting to be perfect. And start becoming who you really are.
The Perfection Trap
When I moved to London from Belgrade, I had one goal: blend in.
I watched how people spoke. I copied their accents. I memorized expressions. I tried so hard to be liked, accepted, praised.
I thought: If I speak perfectly, no one will see how lost I am.
But here’s what happened: The more I tried to be perfect, the smaller I felt.
I said less. I did less. I avoided situations where I might mess up.
Sound familiar?
Perfectionism isn’t about high standards. It’s about fear.
Fear of judgment. Fear of failure. Fear of not being enough.
Dr. Brené Brown’s research shows that perfectionism is a shield — one we use to avoid shame. But instead of protecting us, it isolates us.
It tells us:
“Don’t try unless you can do it flawlessly.”
“Don’t speak unless your English is perfect.”
“Don’t show up unless you’re certain you’ll succeed.”
And that voice? It kills growth.
I'd like you to imagine a ceramic mug — cracked, chipped, imperfect. Would you throw it away? Or would you keep using it — because it’s yours, because it’s real, because it holds your tea and your story?
You are that mug. Not shiny and flawless. But useful. Beautiful. Loved.
Perfection isn’t required. Presence is.
There was a moment in Paris when I corrected myself three times in one sentence — mid-conversation with a French mom at the park.
Each time, I saw her expression change. Not because she was judging me. But because I was.
I was so consumed with getting it right… that I forgot to connect.
That night, I promised myself: I will no longer trade connection for perfection.
I haven’t looked back.
Better is the real goal!
Better is:
Saying what you mean, even if you need to pause.
Trying again after making a mistake.
Being proud of progress, not obsessed with polish.
Better is how confidence grows. Better is how you build trust with yourself. Better is how you belong.
I'll give you 3 practical tools to shift from perfect to better today.
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